


detroit: go through recovery

by alienboyv



Series: detroit: viva la roombalution [1]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Autistic Connor (Detroit: Become Human), B), Father-Son Relationship, Fluff, Gen, Good Parent Hank Anderson, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Pining, i projected so hard onto con, i think, i'll put a trigger warning on the chapters where they're mentioned so dw, im a fuckin video projector, kissing uwu, reverse au, sorry con lol, this will be in connors pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-29
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-06-19 02:53:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15500730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alienboyv/pseuds/alienboyv
Summary: I really thought you were my four-leaf clover.





	1. to preface

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> out of my head, my heart, my mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so: explanation  
> con's half sis is chloe  
> (niles and con are twins)  
> (con is 6'0 w brown hair and eyes and Floof hair. niles is 6'5 w brown hair and blue eyes and naturally slicked back hair.)  
> he and niles were 8 when chloe invented androids and went away  
> amanda was a sucky adoptive mom and while con can see that she sucked chloe is the kid that was like ":^) shes fine she only told me i was a disappointment twice a week!" and niles just Repressed that shit  
> amanda was nice to con until chloe moved so chloe dont kno dw  
> con is trans, gay, autistic,  
> niles is cis and gay and has adhd (hes just is able to cope w it)  
> theyre literally brain siblings as well lmfaooooo  
> fowler is in amanda's place. allen is in fowler's place. perkins is in collins place. collins is in perkin's place.  
> also uhhh i cant remember if the dpd already knew about deviant cases but lets just make sure that Here they kno but its usually dealt w by other people bc im too tired to make sure lmfao.

     "Fuuuuck." Connor's head was pounding. _Another fucking migraine._

"Loosen up, Con _raaaad_ , you're at Jimmy's bar and I can see you rubbing your temples. Stop overworking yourself, you need a fucking break." The bartender leaned over the counter, Connor decided that it was time to get home.

"I'll be headin' out now, see y'all." The bartender was about to say something, but stopped himself and waved at Connor. 

 

* * *

 

     Connor flopped on his couch and turned on the T.V.

"--hostage situation has been defused," Connor hadn't heard of a hostage situation happening that night... "it seems like the negotiator was able to save the hostage, do we have any word on who the negotiator is?"

It was slight, but you could hear the disappointment in the news anchor's voice, "A new Android model." 

"T.V, off!" If there's anything you need to know about Connor Anderson, it's that he hates androids. Not the fact that they were taking jobs, no, people have been fearing robots taking robots for fucking years now. By no means is he is violent, but by god, he couldn't stand their detachment from humanity. Empathy is one thing, he has hypoempathy himself so he understands lack of empathy and understands that doesn't make people fucking kill. It's the detachment, how they have no soul and if they kill...they truly face no consequences. They aren't sent to hell to suffer and can simply cease to exist at any moment, they probably have a fucking self-destruct button.

Although, he feels sorry for them in some ways, like the afterlife. Unlike for people, even if Androids were alive, they would have nothing to look forward to.  Not their loved ones, not a reward or a second chance. _Nothing_.

(Other times, even if he would never admit it, he envied them.)

 

* * *

 

     Connor had laid his clothes out on his bed that morning, unfortunately, most of his clothes smell like pot and he really didn't want to be caught by Allen or GR200, the cop android that had seemed to have a distaste for Connor and would just love the thought of getting Connor in trouble. Thing's probably a deviant and he wouldn't be surprised if it deviated just to hate him.

Today was just like any other day, waiting for it to end with anticipation as if all he has to do is get through this week and it'll all be over, expect it's every week and nothing really happens. All he does is work any more and he can't stop, but he had no time to ponder on that as he enters the precinct.

"Lieutenant Anderson." GR200 said, even if it was meant to sound monotonous, it came off malicious to the 33 year old Lieutenant. "Try not to work yourself to death, for once."

_For once._

_Just get today done with, Con._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Chapter Is Supposed To Be Short AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
> def not that im tired and its gon b deleted in abt a day uvu
> 
> Monika is ra9
> 
> GR200/Gavin is a mood:  
> Doesnt know how to show concern or affection so he just is a lil bitch to make up for it.


	2. i don't trust you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> heart made of glass, my mind of stone  
> (domestic violence tw)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and for my final act, my works will slowly ge shorter and shorter apparently lmfao  
> HAPPY MOTHERFUCKING BDAY HANKY BOY ur 33 now bitch see u in 2038  
> also lets not even pretend for a second i remember how the conversations went or in what order.  
> 

     "Go home." Connor turned around to see Captain Allen. 

"What?"

"I said," Allen gets closer to Connor "go. home."

"I have no reason to, I have not completed all my work. What if there's a homicide case? I can't--" Allen furrowed his brows and looked at Connor, with something akin to worry in his expression.

"I know, but...you can't keep doing this. You're not just being a hard worker, you're being a workaholic and for what reason? I don't know. You need a break, we can't have you fainting again from not eating." He didn't feel pity for the lieutenant, no, he felt worried. He knew how Connor was and he couldn't stand seeing him like this, he wasn't even like this during their college years or the academy.

"....call me if anything comes up." Connor stood up, grabbing his jacket and leaving his desk as it was.

* * *

     A cigarette, the only calming sense in the room. The people talking, his uncomfortable clothes, someone fucking taping the counter and he could feel it, his ears ringing, he just needed something to ground him. _Anything_.

"Lieutenant Conner Anderson?" He heard a deep, gruff voice from beside him. Once he actually turned to his side to see the source of the voice, he saw it plain as day. It's LED and stupid fucking Cyberlife outfit. "My name is Hank, I'm the android sent by Cyberlife. I was asked to escort you to a crime scene."

"What...the...fuck?" _I said to call me if anything comes up not fucking send a piece of plastic--_ "Joshua Christopher. Fucking hell...okay, cool, you have informed me. You can, uh, go scram and drink some motor oil or whatever you do."

"My instructions were to escort you to the crime scene." Hank got closer to him, leaning down. _Condescending son of a bitch._

"You know where you can stick your instructions?"

"I'm sorry, Lieutenant, I don't think that'd be very appropriate here." 

"Oh, fuck off. Okay, okay, I'm going." He stood up, putting his cigarette in his mouth.

"And I recommend putting that cigarette out. It's not only detrimental to your health, but it could damage something of the crime scene if you were to let it burn too long." It grabs the cigarette out of his hand and puts it into the nearest ashtray. _Motherfucker--_

"Fucking fine." He starts fidgeting with his hands as they step out into the cold air of Detroit.

* * *

     "Ugh, you never get use the smell." He scrunches his nose as the smell of the weeks old dead body fills his senses.

"So, the android is with you? Never thought I'd see the day." Detective Perkins comes in, snickering. "Forensics isn't coming until tomorrow."

"Of fucking course." He rolled his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair. "Oh also, fuck off." He looked around the room, and Christ, was it a dump or what? He wondered how much of it was because of the victim's death or before. He lingered around the body for a few minutes, examining it, while the Android stayed behind him. If he didn't know better, he'd say that the Android held some kind of anticipation for him to move away from the body so it could scan it.

"There seems to be thirium covering the scene." _Thirium?_ "Thirium or, as you call it, blue blood. It's the fluid within androids..." It starts going on about androids and their thirium, but Connor decides it's about time to tune it out until it seems to be fetching for an answer. "After some days, thirium becomes invisible to the naked eye."

He smirks and says, "But you can see it, right?" Hank simply nods and turns away.

     He looked at the scene in the kitchen. _Christ._  The mess seemed the carry on from the kitchen. "Probably started in the kitchen." He muttered to himself, trying to get a closer look at the scene without disturbing anything. As he continued throughout the house, examining, he noticed Hank bend down and dab it's finger in the blood on the knife... _and bring it up to his mouth?!_

"What the fuck are you doing, Hank?! That's _disgusting!_ " He swore he could almost hear a chuckle come out of it.

"I'm analyzing the blood, I can analyze samples in real time." He looked at it, exasperated, and turned away.

"Just...just don't do it again. _Ugh_..."

* * *

     "Lieutenant?" Connor turned his attention to Hank. "I have an idea what may have happened."

"I'm all ears, robot man."

"It seems to have started in the kitchen." He nods.

"Yeah, that seems to line up with the evidence. Anything else?"

"The victim was likely killed by an android, an HK400, and he seems to be attacking the android with the bat. The android took the knife and proceeded to stab the man as he fell back into the living room." It walks him around the house, but Connor was a bit confused when he gathered him into the bathroom. "The android seems to have this... _shrine_."

"Fuckin' weird as shit. Why the hell would an android, of all things, have a shrine?"

"That's the thing, I can't figure out why...I have not located the deviant, but I'm almost sure that it has not left the house." There already seemed to be no sign of breaking in, and Connor hadn't even had the time to check for footprints or anything like that in the backyard. "I'm going to continue searching for where the deviant might be hiding, and for more evidence. You may return back to what you were doing." It turns away from him, almost shooing him away. He tried not to feel insulted before walking away.

* * *

     "What are you doing? You can't just...take chairs?" Connor felt confused at seeing the android grab the chair.

"I need this so I can enter somewhere, I do not plan to majorly disturb the scene." It sounded annoyed, and honestly? Connor couldn't blame it. He _was_ questioning it at every turn.

"Dude, you're like...what? Six foot four? Do you really need that chair?"

"It's about seven feet in the air, Lieutenant."

Connor coughed and scratched the back of his neck, "Oh..."

* * *

     "Yo, what're you doing up there, Hank? You found something?" Connor stands a few feet away from the opening to the attic, he makes sure his gun is in his holster. 

There are a few moments of silence, until he hears something, _muttering?_ before hearing something eligible.

"I appear to have...found the deviant." He hears the hesitation in its voice, but he honestly couldn't care less at that moment and decides the best thing to do is to ignore it and focus on apprehending the deviant.

He hears scuffling, preparing his gun, and steps under the opening. He sees Hank's feet, seemingly dragging the deviant with ease, descending from the ladder.

"We need to take it into the police station for questioning as soon as possible." It's firm and cool demeanor never having once let up, still holding onto the deviant so it won't try to flee the scene.

"Yeah..." Connor points outside, thrown off at the vibes he's getting from the situation, "There's some, uh, police cars out there, let me hand-cuff it." He goes behind the deviant, hand-cuffing it. It fidgets and Connor almost wants to ask it what's wrong.

* * *

     "You gon' talk or what?" The deviant stays still, looking down at the table intensely. Its hands in a fist and almost seems to be shaking. "Why'd you do it? What'd you think you get out of it? What happened?" It stays in the same position, and Connor almost wants to give up. Almost. "Hey, we aren't gon' hurt you, you know? We just wan' understand what happened. If you stay silent, we'll just have to assume your guilty. The system's messed up as it is, you aren't helping yourself." He suddenly hears a tap on the glass, _guess my time's up_. He shrugs at the deviant and walks into the other room.

"I got a sneaking suspicion we're gonna have to send our new robot friend out to talk to it. Don't think it's in the mood for humans currently."

"No shit, Sherlock. Would you be super keen on humans after going through what that thing has been through?" Niles tries to smack Connor upside the head, but Connor dodges him by half a second. GR200 (or, Gavin, as Connor has since learned.) stares at Connor and leans against the wall.

"You two are correct, but your style of interrogating is less likely to get it to confess. I agree that I should go out there, for there's a certain range its stress levels need to stay in. Too low, it will be underwhelmed and feel no pressure in telling the truth, too high and it'll be overwhelmed. Deviants have a tendency to self-destruct in tense situations."

"So...you headin' in or what?" Hank straightens his posture and heads out, Gavin giving him a bad look as he exits the room

* * *

      "-28 stab sounds...you didn't want to leave him a chance, _did you?_ " _Whaaaat the fuuuUUUCk._  Connor stood there a bit shocked, Hank wasn't even yelling and even he could tell the HK400 was getting stressed. _At the very least, it's intimidating._ "Like the human said, we can't help you if you don't tell us anything."

"He-" The thing hiccupped, _is it about to cry?_  

"Those burns on you..." It looks sympathetically at the deviant "Did _he_ do that to you?" It nods, still looking down, it almost seems to be trying to catch its breath.

"He use to- He use to beat me. Burn his cigarettes on me. Tell me I was nothing. The only people who gave me any kindness were his offspring, but they only saw me as a toy that their dad had and they got to play with when their mom let them be around him." It looked up, desperate, "I wanted to prove him wrong...and when he...when he started beating me with the bat- I just couldn't take it. So I grabbed the knife and I stabbed him, I stabbed him for everytime he made me consider deactivation or made his kids cry or everytime I saw a bruise or burn on his ex-wife that looked exactly like _mine_." 

Hank blinked, the sympathetic look staying on it's face. 

"We'll..." it sucked air through the fake teeth "Actually...that's all we need for now. I apologise." HK400 froze, it seemed to be pleading with its eyes, but all the deviant hunter could do was look away.

     "Well, let's go lock it up." Niles grabs a pair of handcuffs and pats his gun. Connor follows suit with Gavin next to him.

As they walk in, the deviant gets more unstable, thrashing as Niles and Gavin grab it.

"Hey, balls of steel, would you mind trying a little harder? It's your kind." Niles words cause Gavin to squint and Connor almost wants to let Gavin punch him. It thrashes and knocks Niles back.

"Yo dude, calm the fuck down!" Hank grabs Connor's arm.

"HK400, please, it doesn't have to be like this-"

"No! You fucking lied! You lied! Liar!" It hits Niles and grabs his gun and, _Fuck_

It aims for Hank, but in it's stupor, only hits Hank in the shoulder. It doesn't seem to care as it decides to shoot itself in the head.

"Jesus Christ..." Connor stares at the blue covering the table. Gavin groans, helping Niles up and looking at Connor and Hank.

* * *

     "Fuck. Fuuuuck." Connor groans, trying to get comfortable in his bed. He can't get that shade of blue out of his head. The splatter, the rush of the moment, nothing made sense. 

_I need some edibles. How much weed can erase a memory? Or just specific parts of a memory? Fuck, man._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> joshua christopher is...my favorite phrase ever lmfao  
> now correct me if im just forgetting but like, can u imagine (regular) connor having to get hk400 down from there bc like im not sure we saw him get hk400 down?? like. how do u do that. if i were hiding in an attic i'd act like a 5 year old and be like "YOU CANT MAKE ME GO DOWN THAT LADDER" cos like. whatre they gon do???? drag you???? by ur feet??? over their shoulder??? how
> 
> connor: (spits) fucka you!  
> hk800: oh my god i cant not adopt him
> 
> (the thing w hank being behind con is based on when i played dbh and i was like M O V E O U T O F T H E W A Y H A N K)


	3. not in the slightest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i hope that i’ve become a flavorless delicacy  
> that i’m good enough  
> child abuse /  
> possible self harm /

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> other lyrics i considered for the summary  
> "half of what you think of me"  
> "of broken promises, excessive harsh judgements, and subtle rejections."  
> "fill me with poison  
> make me numb,"  
> "mutating into fear,  
> of people getting near."
> 
> also uhhh connors distaste of androids isnt like hanks. hanks was more outwardly aggressive and violent, while connor keeps most of that to himself unless hes frustrated. usually he's either passive (aggressive) towards them or ignores them. uwu.

  _Mmmmm, what time is it? Probably 5, hopefully._ Connor picks up his phone and stares at the time. _Ugh, of fucking course it's 3..._ His body becoming restless by the second, realizing he definitely isn't gonna be able to go back to sleep. He lazily sits up, with nothing to do he'll probably aimlessly scroll through social media until it's time to get up. 

* * *

     As Connor enters the building, he notices Gavin worryingly stiff, almost like it's anxious. Gavin lets him through, silent

"No jabs today? I'm almost sad." Connor tries to cracks a joke, but Gavin just weakly smirks and it's attention back to its work.

     "Connor, wait!" He hears Captain Allen yell out to him _right_ as he's about to sit down, "Before you get started on your work, come to my office."

He steps into Allen's office, fidgeting with his coin. "Allen? What'd you need?" 

 "I need you to wait for the android, HK800. You're going to be handling deviant cases with him for the time being." _WHAT? WHAT?_

"Allen, no offense, but-"

"I know, but this is an honor for Cyberlife to give us this android temporarily. Just trust me, Connor." Allen signs, sitting back in his chair. Connor really does try to be understanding, but he has a limit. _I'm 33, not 6. I can survive._ "You may take a break until it arrives."

* * *

      "C'mon, Con, what's got you lookin' like that?" Tina, a detective about Connor's age, and Chris, who had been in the DPD probably as long as Allen (if not longer), sit next to Connor.

"Like.... _that_?" Tina thinks for a second, before clicking her tongue.

"Spacey. Like, you're in another world. You thinkin' about something?" Connor really was just zoned out, not thinking about anything. He shakes his head, going to take a sip of his coffee before realizing he had let it get cold. He sticks his tongue out and dumps the drink in the sink. He suddenly feels a hand on his left shoulder, he panics, turning around with balled fists.

"I apologize for startling you, Lieutenant, but may we go back to your desk?" Connor pinches the bridge of his nose, groaning.

"What took you so long? Why didn't you say anything, y'know, before sneaking up on me?" Hank simply shrugs and walks out of the room.

     "Do you have a dog?" Hank continues working while asking the question.

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

"Scanned the dog hairs on your chair. A saint bernard?"

 _That feels weirdly invasive._ "A puppy, got him about three years ago. His name is Sumo."

"That's nice, I like dogs." Connor gives a thumbs up before going back to his work. He stares at one case in particular. _AX400 gone missing with child? The AX400, known as Luther, took the 13-year-old, Alice, after a small mishap during dinner at 11:32 PM. While the man does not mention the mishap, the neighbors say they heard yelling before seeing the android and girl taking off._

"The AX400? That would be a good place to start." He jumped at the voice, _how fucking long has it been standing there?!_

"Uh, yeah. Let's start there." He coughs, trying to maintain his composure.

* * *

     "So the cashier says he saw 'em?" _They were obviously looking for a place to stay like the cashier had mentioned the AX400 said, so how far could they have actually gone?_

"Yeah, the girl apparently tried to grab some money when no one was looking. She got caught and they both ran out." Connor raised his eyes brows, Niles went back in to ask for security tapes.

"How far would a 6'7 AX400 and a 5'0 13-year-old go? Or how far could they go?" He restated his thoughts out loud, turning to Hank's direction. He stared at the abandoned building, seeing a curtain move. "Not far, apparently."

He feels a shoulder grab his shoulder as he begins walking towards the building. "It's best if you don't. They may not react well to a human, let alone a cop." _Ohhh_.

"Well, uh, don't take too long."

* * *

      "So, Lieutenant, what do you think of androids taking our jobs?" Connor shrugged.

"It-it's always sorta be happening, so I'm kinda neutral I guess?" He nervously chuckled, he really hadn't put too much about it.

"Y'know, they're supposed to be better than us, we're not good enough to work proficiently anymore."

"Good enough?" Connor questioned the cop's choice of words.

"We can't satisfy the workforces anymore because apparently having to sleep, eat, and live affordably is a liability."

 "Hm." _Good enough?_

* * *

     "Yo, Hank, what's taking so long?" _30 minutes that I've been waiting. Has there been a complication?_

"I'll be out in a moment, Lieutenant!" He knew that Hank's voice is supposed to stay, for the most part, monotonous, yet at that moment it sounded...neither human nor machine.

_Something's off. This isn't a high-tense situation, nor an emotional one, and Hank's an android. Why the hell does it sound like that?_

"Okay, I'm coming in if you haven't found anything in 5 minutes." Hank stepped out, finally, and looked at him.

"There seems to be nothing here. If they were here, they seem to have run off." He just nodded, walking off with Hank beside him.

* * *

      Festering. It was festering in his brain. _I can never meet all the demands of superiors, I can never always be there, I can never know everything-_ picking a scabbed wound, who he hadn't paid any mind to in some time, or at least that's what he'd say.

"Stay in the car, ok? I'll be right back." Hank shook it's head, opening the car door. "Do you....have to follow me everywhere?" It ignored the question so Connor went to the truck and shrugged off its silence.

     "Yo, I'll throw in something else. Chips ain't a meal, dude." Connor shook his head and handed money. "That thing with you...?" he nodded, trying to come across displeased. He couldn't really get any words out. _Fuck, don't go non-verbal now._

"It uh...it follows me around like a poodle. Don't worry about it staying." He finally choked out, stepping away and heading to eat before the conversation could continue.

Hank, already at the table, seemingly waiting for him to arrive. "I must say, that Tony is right. Eating just chips is no meal."

Connor thought of something to get the android off his diet, "Well, as much as I like the food here, they uh...too greasy sometimes." _Please don't keep talking._

"Makes sense, but they still look good. It's better than eating nothing." Connor waves the bag in front of Hank and proceeded to eat the chips. "Something _sustainable_." Connor shrugged, finally getting something out.

"So uh, why'd they make you look like...that?"

"Old?" Connor sputtered trying to say _No!_ "I take no offense. Simply to make me more calming, easier to talk to."

"Like talking to a paternal figure?" Hank nods.

"Though I have scanned you, and I can see you were quite smart. You graduated at the top of your class, almost tied with your twin, there's not much else about you."

"You tryin' to get to know me?" Hank nods, gesturing for Connor to continue. "Well uh," _How do people talk about themselves again?? God, this is like the first day of school._  "I was actually born in Indiana, not Michigan. There really isn't much else for you to know about me." 

"It would make things smoother for us." It almost seems to be getting irritated, _I don't blame it._

"Why don't we just get a move on? We can't take to long. Allen told me to make sure I ate, and I did. Let's just _go_." 

* * *

     Hank stayed still in the elevator, blinking sometimes but overall, being silent. Connor just felt awkward. _Finally_ , they arrived and stepped out the elevator. Hank stayed for a second but right as Connor pointed it out he stepped out, shushing Connor.

"Some lady said she heard strange noises and wanted us to investigate." _Strange noises? If we got called everytime-_

Hank banged its fist on the door a few times, "Detroit Police! Open up!" After a few minutes, Hank tried banging on the door but realized it was futile. Even if anyone was inside, they weren't going to answer the door.

Hank positioned itself in front of Connor, "What are you-" He was cut off by Hank saying, sternly,

"Stay behind me." Hank lifted up its foot, kicking the door open. Dust is the only thing that comes out. Connor stares around into the apartment. He steps carefully into the hallway, seeing nothing. The rooms surrounding the hallway just as vacant as the hallway itself.

"This place looks like it hasn't been attended to in years. It looks like a dump, but more like an untouched dump th-" He opens the door at the end of the hallway, suddenly being flocked and almost knocked back by-

"Pigeons?!" Hank blurts put, Connor suddenly hears snickers coming from Hank.

"What..." Connor brushes feathers of himself. "...the fuck..." He groans as Hank walks past him, grinning. "Why- why the fuck were there pigeons?! Why are you laughing at me?! Is this _enjoyable_? My _suffering_?"

Hank shook it's head and walked inside, he noticed that there were pigeons literally everywhere. Luckily, they flew up whenever he or Hank walked near them so he didn't have to worry about stepping on them.

"How does it live with this many pigeons?"  _Definitely not human, a human couldn't fucking live with this many pigeons if they tried._ Hank shrugs it off and goes straight into investigating.

Connor wonders around, it looks like stuff had been knocked over in a haste when he notices a jacket.

"Fake ID?" Hank scares him again, appearing behind him.

"How do you- Nevermind." He looks inside, squinting at the letters sewed in, Initials? _That's something your mom does for you when you're in the first grade._

"That sounds oddly specific, Lieutenant. Is there something you need to talk about?"

"Shit, did I say that out loud? Sorry." Hank walks into the bathroom before Connor has the chance to say sorry.

    "Lieutenant, you may need to see this." Connor walks in, looking at the wall, and- _What. The. FuuuuuuUUUUUUCK._

"I apologize if this disturbs you, but I also found these RA9 writings back at the HK400's, it had an altar."

"Jesus..."

"And from the samples I collected, it seems there was indeed an android, specifically a WB200, here. Not too long ago either..." Hank heads back into the living room, crouching down and the (probably) knocked down bird cage.

It stays like that for a few minutes before turning to Connor and putting a finger up against his lip in a _Be quiet!_ motion.

Before Connor can even think, an android jumps out, bolting out the door with Hank following suit. Connor begins running as well, taking a slightly different path from Hank and the deviant.

He catches up, _finally_ , only to see Hank following the deviant onto a moving train. _Nevermind_.

He follows them up onto a roof, the deviant heads in his direction. He tries to grab onto its hand before being knocked over the roof, holding onto the ledge.

_Fuck I can't- no! God, I know I said I want to die but uh- I change my mind I think-_

He feels himself being lifted up, as he boosts himself up he looks up at who helped him.

"Hank? Did the deviant get away? What happened?!" As he stands up, he notices the couple of inches Hank has on him.

"Yes, the deviant got away! Are you okay?!" Hank stares at him, checking for injuries.

"I'm fine. Sorry I--" Connor realizes something, and stares at it confused. "Why did you help me? I probably could've got up on my own..."

"Don't, Lieutenant. You could've been hurt."

"So? Look, I really do appreciate it, but this is your whole life. Truthfully, I'm not important to the case, you could do this without me."

Hank shakes it's head, "You are more important than you realize. You are as necessary to this case as I."

Connor didn't want to sit here, arguing about this, so he nods his head and stands up. He and Hank walk into the building next to one another, Connor panting a bit.

 _Jesus_.

* * *

      _When's the last time I got food?_ For once, succumbing to his hunger, Connor searches his kitchen only to find nothing.

The pot smell invades his nostrils and decides to search for air freshener after he finds some next to his phone, he checks his messages.

 _Nothing_. He stares at one particular number, his common sense screaming at him to delete the messages or just ignore them and go back to what he was doing.

He taps on them, seeing the last message. 

* * *

 

_Connor AUGUST 26, 2029 (3:25 AM)_

_Sorry?_

* * *

 

He scrolls up, staring at every message that he practically knows by heart. Every minuscule thing he did wrong and every emotion he felt flooding him.

_There's something terribly, irreversibly wrong with me. I feel inhuman, like a monster. Jealousy and envy instead of congratulatory and proud thoughts when someone's better because everyone's so much more better and nicer. They have a heart while I am nothing more than a machine, a monster._

Like a mug left on the edge of a counter, like a shaken up Dr. Pepper can, like a dormant volcano-

He erupts. He spills over and knocks over every calming presence in his life and makes every worse and messier. The things keeping him together crack, only to be glued back together but they will come undone in the heat. He best just get a new bowl.

The ashes cloud the skies, the smoke choking him. The lava opens up wounds that he thought had healed years ago.

Such fancy ways of describing what is happening to him, yes? In more literal terms...

He breaks down. The breath leaves his lungs as racing thoughts fill his brain of everything he could've done better and more proficient because to him, he will never be successful enough. The conditioning of his childhood, that the only way to gain praise or love is to be better than everyone and to be loved by everyone and you are nothing more than a piece of chewed up gum if you're anything less than perfect, seeps through his actions and words years after leaving what turned him into a perfectionist who doesn't even know what he could perfect. 

* * *

_Connor (UNSENT)_

_I know that you were put thru so much as a child and it turned you into someone you hate and you have demons latched onto you until you die and youhave no idea how to be anything else but thats no excuse for what you've done. do u know why aunt amy always baby sitted us when u were gone? cos she cld see what u did tp thr 3 of us. do u understand how u shaped us into_

_ ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO DELETE THIS DRAFT? _

_**YES**.     NO. _

* * *

     "Lieutenant?!" He awakes to Hank crouching over him. He looks around but only to realize his vision is blurry, the only thing he can really make out is the moving white and light brown blob he assumes is Sumo. He rubs his eyes, realizing he hadn't answered Hank.

"I-I'm fuckin' fine, man." He grabs onto its shoulder and lifts himself up. A realization hits him, _why is Hank in my home?!_

"We have a case, Lieutenant."

"Don't tell me yet..." He groans, "Let me wake myself up, it'll only take a little while." He coughs all the way into the bathroom.

 _Splash_. As the cold water hits him in the face, his thoughts clear up and he steps out of his panic-induced haze. He begins to try to piece together what happened before he had gone unconsciousness.

 _Did I pass out or faint? Maybe I just fell asleep from the high._ His eyes widen as though something had just occurred to him, he quickly checking his arm. _Just nail scratches, not a-_

His thoughts are interrupted by Hank sticking its hand through the door, "I picked out a grey dress shirt and black pants, if that's alright with you. Are you fully clothed?"

"Yeah, I didn't get into the nude." He laughs, _why would Hank even think that?_ Hank steps in, walking carefully up to him.

"How long ago did you...smoke?" He holds the burnt blunt, "Are you...sober...enough to drive?" Hank seems hesitant with its questions, and he understands why. Weed, while legal in Detroit as of 2022, still isn't exactly looked upon in a great light, nor is it 100% safe. Connor knows this and is careful, though it doesn't always do great things for his schizophrenia.

"About..." He looks at the clock, _Jesus, 10 already?_ "6 or 7. Only had done hit, so I'm fine. It's wearing off." Hank nods, leaving the room to allow Connor to get ready.

_Maybe I should call my therapist, haven't seen him in awhile._

* * *

     "An android sex club? Hank, you cannot be serious." Connor tries, and fails, to hold his laughs back. "Sexiest androids in town? No wonder you wanted go here!"

"Funny. I don't remember working here." He slowly turns his head to Hank.

"I'm gonna lock you in the car." He shakes his head, chuckling, as he exits the car. Hank steps out as well, and they enter the building. As they walk down the first hallway, Hank almost seems to be averting his eyes. _Hoo boy, this would be a lot funnier if we weren't about to go investigate a murder._

He notices Perkins, nodding at him before walking into the room with Hank. He sees Niles standing there, talking to Tina. "So, what happened?"

"Found dead, signs of a heart attack. Would've been nothing more than an old geezer getting too much than he can handle but..." Niles points to the bloodied, shutdown android across the room. "He probably just lashed out at her before having a heart attack. Don't spend too much time on it, Con, you need your rest."

Connor gives a thumbs up as Niles exits the room, Tina right behind him. Connor stares at the man, bending down closer. _Are those-?_

"He was choked." He looks at Hank, who had also come to the same realization.

"Handprints." Hank nods, looking at the android across the room.

Connor groans, "Shit! Our only witness is also dead!"

Hank puts its finger under its chin, and glances at Connor. "I could make her turn on, but she'd only be on for 1 or 2 minutes before shutting back down."

"Well, try it! It's our only option..." He scratches the back of his head, _I feel so useless right now...no! Not right now! Don't be a dick!_

Hank crouched down, uncovering it's synthetic skin and opening up the android's abdomen. After a few seconds, it awakes with alert, quickly crawling away from them.

"Hey, hey, you're okay. Just calm down and tell us what happened." It seems to be hyperventilating, barely able to form coherent sentences. "I'm going to ask you a few questions, is that okay?" It's breathing calms down slightly, it nods.

"What happened to him? Were you alone?"

"He-he wanted two girls." It gulps. "Two Tracis, but he started beating on us, he got so angry and--"

"Did you kill him?" The Traci shakes its head violently.

"No! It-" Her eyes turn back and she shutdown.

"Shit." Hank swears, "We need to find a Traci."

"It's probably long gone right now." Where-

"Not in those clothes and it would've had no other way to obtain clothes without arousing suspicion." He nods, exiting the room and running to the manager.

"Really, I got no idea what happened, he probably just had too good of a time, y'know?"

"Actually, signs show he was likely strangled. You know the other Traci that was in there?" Perkins raises his eyebrows and turns back to the manager.

"Listen, a lot of people come through here so I ain't gonna remember one specific person's purchase. I'd have to go check." 

"Excuse me, may I borrow Lieutenant Anderson for a few minutes?" Hank pulls him aside, guiding him to an Android on display.

"I need you to rent this Traci."

"What the fuck, Hank?!" He was so confused, "Not the fucking time!"

Hank stifles a laugh and shakes its head, "No, I may be able to use it's memory to find the other Traci, but it erases every 2 hours. We only have mere minutes." 

"Jesus, this is gonna look so bad on my bank account." Connor sighs and comfirms his purchase.

The Traci steps out, trying to be seductive, and grabs his arm. "Let me take you to your room..."

Hank stops it, grabbing its arm. The skin uncovering, they both stop for a few seconds. Once Hank lets go, he heads off and gestures for Connor to follow it. "We're looking for a blue-haired Traci!"

Connor steps forward but is grabbed by the Traci "Uh sorry, not interested?" After a few seconds he knocks her off and follows Hank.

* * *

     Connor has never seen Hank walk this fast, not counting Rupert. He pants as Hank finally stops, near an only-employee entrance.

Hank puts a hand in front of Connor as he touches the doorknob. "Be careful.." Like Rupert, Hank positions itself in front of Connor. They carefully walk in, looking at the groups androids lined up.

They begin searching each android, they stay still until-

He feels a hand grab onto him, and sees a Traci with short brown-haired pin him down. They wrestle around, eventually he feels snow and pavement hit his back after falling down. Brown-haired Traci runs off, meeting up with Blue-haired Traci. They help each other climb the fence.

"Wait!" He turns and sees Hank holding a gun. It stands still, the girls look back. Hank closed its eyes and-

_He dropped the gun?_

The Tracis run off, leaving Hank and a confused Connor.

"Why?" He turns to Hank, and Hank says monotonously, as if those last few seconds never happened.

"It would've been useless, we need them alive..." Hank starts walking away, head down.

Connor sighs as he walks behind Hank and grabs onto Hank's hand, helping him up.  _It...feels better this way. I think._

* * *

     After the case, Connor decided to drive him and Hank to the nearby park. Connor brushes the snow off the bench and sits with his legs crossed, waiting for Hank to arrive. Once he sees Hank steps in front of him, he begins talking.

"Nice view, huh? Niles and I use to come up here before..." Hank looks at him, quizzically.

"Before what?" He coughs.

"Before..." _Before our adoptive mother lost her caring nature_ , "Nothing. Just a phrase, man." He takes a puff of his cigarette.

"Cigar--" _Oh, not with this shit again, I've heard it a million times._

"I know, idiot. This is like, barely my third or fourth today." He shrugs and zones out for a few moments before he is interrupted by Hank.

"Do you believe those androids, those girls, were in love?" No. Yes. Maybe?

"I can't...I can't say for certain. Maybe they were, and if they were, I hope they're happy...but that's not my job, is it? I don't get to decide they're suddenly a-okay because they might be in love." Hank nods, staying silent and stiff. "It's kinda unlikely because they aren't really alive but there's always a chance for the unlikely." _Bright lights._

"Connor..." Hank turns to him, and if it weren't for the fact he's been with Hank this entire time, he'd think that something horrible happened. Well, something horrible in their personal life. "Are you afraid to die?"

 _What? Where did that come from?!_ Connor stares in shock at the unexpected question. His thoughts go blank, he doesn't have an answer that is 100% the truth. _Am I afraid to die? Depends on the day. Sometimes._

"...Sometimes?"

"I saw the text with you and your mother..." Hank seems filled with more and more apprehension with each question it ask. "Amanda Stern? You took your father's last name, correct?" Connor nods, he stares down.

"I don't..." He looks to the side. "I can't have the conversation, Hank." Hank stops itself from speaking and nods. He stands up and grabs his keys out of his pocket.

"I'm going home, do you need to be dropped off at Cyberlife or something?" Hank shakes its head.

"Have a good night, Lieutenant." He nods and steps into his car.

_Fuck, that was awkward. And anxious. Fuck! I need to sleep. Forever._

* * *

     Connor had been home for about an hour, dozing off with Sumo in his lap while watching T.V when he heard loud, banging knocks on the door. He had tried to ignore it but after a few minutes he realized it wasn't going to stop so he stood up and walked towards the door.

"Hello? It's..." He checks the clock. "One in the morning, mind explaining why you're knocking on my door?" He says all this as he opens the door to the last person (or well, thing) he thought he was going to see.

"GR200? Gavin? What are you--" Gavin walks in and shuts the door. "Hey! That's kinda rude, what's going on?" He notices blue blood on Gavin's side, his eyes jump back to Gavin's face.

"I'm-I'm a deviant. Have been for awhile. I almost got caught. Connor..." It(?) grabs onto his shoulder. "I need somewhere to stay, I know you may hate me and other androids but please. Just consider it." _Jesus Christ._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok sorry this took awhile ive just been caught up w school and stuff oof. i basically know whats gon happen in the next 3 chapters so dhjskjhdsjk yah hope u enjoyed this  
> alao alice is still alice but shes more like a rambunctious 13 year old than a lil 8-9 yr old?  
> Oh btw ive never smoked weed bc i am a children so lmfao is u see anything thats weird its bc. ive never smonked a wed
> 
> info on marijuana not reacting well to schizophrenic/psychotic symptoms:  
> the THC in the marijuana is what really causes the high feeling, hallucinations (and delusions?), etc. that can worsen symptoms. you'd have to have marijuana with mainly CBD and little THC, as CBD is the calming chemical in marijuana that helps people with mental health issues.


	4. but i'd rather die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your heart's in the ground, frozen over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, a person who has never written a slow burn, trying Desperately not to rush anything: (copes by listening to seasons of love from rent)
> 
> also the ""analogies"" to discrimination in america from the game are. Bad. so instead imma write it how ppl react to robots doing our jobs now u kno??  
> from both a historical standpoint and modern standpoint the story does not accurately represent oppression and discrimination.  
> and cages racism and sexism shine thru in his story/character writing.

     Connor thinks, _can I just send Gavin back on the streets? Can I just pretend this never happened or even report Gavin? What if I say yes and get caught protecting a deviant?_ He crosses his arms, his head dizzy from his internal conflict.  _No, I just- I can't. Not in good conscious._

"No, I don't need to think. I've already decided." Gavin's eyes widen as it(???) steps back. "Sure. I'm no murderer, not even of an android."

"Connor, I-" He interrupts Gavin, rubbing his eyes.

"No need to praise me just yet," He points to Gavin's side. "Are you injured? When did that happen?"

"Perkins." Connor scrunched his eyebrows.

"Thought Niles was the one you usually were with you? What were you doing with fucking Perkins?"

"Did you see how he left shortly after Niles and Tina?" Connor shook his head, after his brief exchange with the manager he hadn't even seen Perkins.

"He joined Niles and Tina for drinks and Niles was my only mode of transportation."They stepped into the bathroom, Connor bent down to get some cotton swabs, "They got kinda drunk and I guess I did something that alerted Perkins. He kept glaring at me, eventually, he started passive aggressively trying to get me to confess or something. So I panicked and after helping Niles go throw up I climbed out the bathroom window."

Connor, busying cleaning up Gavin's wounds, raised his eyebrows. "Jesus, is that how you got injured?"

He chuckled, scratching the back of his neck. "Yeah...I didn't expect it to be so high up." Connor got out some bandages, continuing to talk to Gavin while he wrapped up his injuries. "They aren't so bad so I'll quickly start healing myself. By tomorrow or so they'll be gone."

"Cool, still don't want thirium on my carpet or around Sumo."

"Sumo? Isn't that your dog?" Connor nodded. "I can probably stay awake for tonight to make sure no one followed me."

"Cool, I'm gonna sleep on the couch then so you can wake me up if someone knocks on the door." He yawned, standing up and stretching. Gavin smiled at him and stood up himself.

* * *

     "Hey, wake up!" Connor wakes to Gavin in front of him, pointing at his phones clock. _5:45 AM._

He jumps up, throwing his blanket off, "Why didn't you wake me up at five?!" Gavin shakes his said.

"Because you still have an hour and fifteen minutes, you don't need to be waking up _that_ early."

"Since when do you care what time I wake up...?" He rubs his eyes, the grogginess slowly lessening.

"Well, uh-" Gavin seemingly interrupts himself, stuttering on his words and tensing, "Just...uh. Just get up, I'm not a complete dick." Connor sits up, giving him a thumbs up.

Connor thinks about the past few days, coming to an overdue realization. "Oh my god, that was why you were so tense the other day!"

Gavin stares at him, bursting out into laughter, "Did you just realize that?! Jesus! I can't breathe!"

"Do you need to breathe?"

"Shush, it's part of the joke." He shakes his head, still chuckling.

"Should I leave you here? Is that safe? Don't they have a tracker on you?"

"I don't think the tracker works anymore, and yes. If anyone comes to the door, I can hide. If they catch me, I'll say I broke in, okay?"

"Don't just put the blame on yourself." Connor brings himself back to his first concern, "So, you're okay? If anything happens, call me. You can change your voice, right?" Gavin nods. He sighs, walking into his room to change.

* * *

     "Connor..." Captain Allen stands beside his desk. "Isn't today your day off?"

"I'm fine, Allen. Work helps me calm now."

"That's- fine. Just please remember to eat something."

"Allen, you're one of my oldest friends but right now? We're colleagues, a captain and his lieutenant. My well-being isn't-" Allen sighs, crossing his arms. He looks at Connor with concern. "....I will." Allen smiles, walking off.

* * *

      _The calm before the storm_. A phrase used so many times that just about everyone knows it, it holds deph but truthfully, who holds it to heart? Just like many used phrases, people simply say it as the slightest circumstances that could relate to the phrase. Connor had no idea of it's legitimacy, he had never been faced with a real storm. Are they calm or such sudden? Perhaps he takes phrases too literally, but maybe instead of being before the storm, as they said, the calm comes in the middle. When a climax has passed or is coming soon, things calm. Whether literally or our brains subconsciously preparing us, they seem so easing.

He had been called into work, a break-in at Stratford tower. He and Gavin had been watching the news.

At that moment, Connor realized he had never explicitly denounced his distaste of androids. He didn't know how to say it, so instead he simply looked at Gavin, patting his shoulder.

 _Gavin_. Gavin had only been with Connor for a few days at most. Nothing had changed, expect Connor noticed whenever it seemed like Gavin was being nice he had to try to imply something other than genuine happiness and kindness. Saying some cold or rude or actually taking back what he said.

It hadn't bothered Connor, he hadn't thought much of it. Gavin wasn't making fun of him so he had nothing to really be bothered by.

He and Hank stand beside each other in the elevator, he flips his coin, trying to slow down his already cluttered thoughts. To his knowledge, Hank (nor anyone else) had notice anything off about him or his behavior.

They arrive, immediately going up to some officers and SWAT to gather intel.

"So no one noticed them and they didn't hurt anyone?" The man next to him shook his head.

He was in uniform, so Connor assumes he was one of the people who got away. "They seemed conflicted about letting me get away but in the end, the one actually holding the gun didn't pull the trigger." Connor nodded, continuing to converse for a few more minutes before walking into the actual... _video room? What's it called?_

"Broadcasting room?" Connor jumped at Hank's sudden appearance but quickly brushed it off.

"Yes! That!" They look around the room, walking up to the monitor-

"Hello, I'm FBI Agent Collins." _Motherfucker_. This wouldn't be the first or last the FBI tried (and possibly succeeded) to take a case from the DPD, but Connor always hated it. They treated him like a child who couldn't do a simple task.

"Hello, Agent Collins. I'm Hank, the android sent by Cyberlife to assist the Detroit Police Department with the deviant cases and this is my partner, who you may know, Lieutenant Anderson." Hank smiled, but anyone with half a brain could guess he ( _RIGHT??_ ) was irritated. "May I ask what you are doing here?"

"Oh, you haven't heard?" Collins took a step towards them. "The FBI will likely be taking up this case. This is a lot bigger than an android and Lieutenant or the DPD."

"You haven't done so yet, and you know as much as I. If you'll excuse us, we have work to do." Collins laughed,  Connor had been too nervous to cut it but he felt like a child whose parent was arguing with a random lady at the grocery store.

"Yes, of course. Investigating and..." He looked from Hank to Connor. "...babysitting?"

"Sh-" Connor shut himself up and turned around. He shook his head and stood in front of the huge monitor.

It began playing, an android with its skin started stating short stories of mistreatment. Statements of needs and wants. It ended with a thought, recognizing how people longed for an end to human labor yet complain when they can't do work.

"We in no way intend to compare this to any other movements and it doesn't take a genius to understand this is different. We are not humans...but we are alive." Connor and Hank stared. He looked at Hank, and he could tell something was running through Hank's head. Hank looked mesmerized.

He raised his eyebrows. "You 'kay there, Bud?" Hank tore himself out of his trance and nodded.

"It's an WK400. As you may notice, it has heterochromia. One eye is brown while the other is green. The green eye does not belong to her model." Connor nodded, thinking of how on earth would it get another model's eye. "It's model was made for Leo and Markus Manfred, half-brothers and friends of Chloe Kamski."

Connor's eyes widened, quickly looking to his side. 

"I'm-I'm gonna go talk to some people. You come to me if you find anything, okay?" Hank nodded in agreement and they went their separate ways.

* * *

     Connor had been trying to talk, avoiding the topic of Chloe Kamski. After finally getting some useful information, he heard footsteps, seeing a tense android walking by.

Only a few seconds passed before hearing Hank's loud and fast footsteps and him calling out,

"Wait! That android-" The android, about to enter the elevator, pulled out a gun, no one had any time to react

He was knocked down, feeling a heavy body on top of him. He heard gunshots, quickly going silent.

He was Hank shot-down and bloodied body. Hank was barely alive, but still standing. Everyone else had been shot down.

People started running in, Perkins ran up to them.

"What the hell happened?!" He just stared at him. Everything was too quick to understand. _Too quick_. The blood pooled around his feet.

* * *

     Connor told Gavin the story, still trying to piece together what had happened himself. He was still in a state of shock.

"Hank almost-" Connor nodded before Gavin could even finish his question. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I wasn't hurt." He looked at Gavin, who had scooted closer to him. "I guess I'm a bit tired? I'm going to Chloe Kamski's with Hank tomorrow." He stared at the T.V. feeling his eyes becoming heavy.

His head landed on Gavin's lap, which was, surprisingly, comfortable. He was too tired to bother to move, Gavin began stroking his hair. Typically he would be too scared to enact this kind of physical contact, but for some reason, _probably cause I'm nearly asleep_ , he enjoyed it. Enjoyed Gavin.

He drifted off, the last thing he remembered is Gavin trying to not disturb him as he tries to shift.

* * *

     He woke up hot and on the edge of the couch, head still on Gavin. The sun barely rising, still mainly dark out.

Gavin seemed zoned out, only noticing Connor when he sat up.

"I'll be right back, going to go make some toast. You probably need to stretch out your legs anyway, sorry about that by the way..." He scratches the back of his neck.

"No- uh. You're great. It was nice." Gavin's faced tinted blue, obviously a bit nervous about what he said. Connor gave him a thumbs up and walks off.

He kinda felt sorry, it's really awkward when you say something like "You're great!" Or "You're perfect!" when you mean "You're fine!" but nothing could be as bad as his "I'm gonna eat your ass" typo.

* * *

      "Jesus, you're here already?" Hank chuckled at Connor's confused voice. 

"Yes, I arrived only a few minutes earlier though. Looks like we're both early. Should we head in?" Connor nodded, rubbing his hands together. They walked up the ramp, Hank knocked on the door. It was an awkward two minutes before an android opened the door.

 _Oh god. It's my nightmare. A 5'11 clean-shaven white guy with a man-bun_. He chuckled to himself. 

"Let me inform Chloe that you're here." He stepped into the other room, stepping out but a few minutes later, "She will be with you in a few minutes." Connor nodded, going to sit down.

He looked around the room, seeing pictures of Chloe and her professors and even Amanda.

He shook his head and tried to start a conversation with Hank, "So, how's it feel?"

"What do you mean?"

"How's it feel to meet your creator?" Hank turned away from the huge picture of Chloe, shrugging.

"Haven't met her yet. She seems very intelligent from the looks of it." He turned back, walking around the room.

"Hm." Connor looked to his side. "I'd like to meet my creator. I have some...choice words for them." Hank stares at Connor, but looks away to stop himself from speaking.

They sit in silence until the android comes back in.

"Chloe is ready to see you." They walk in, seeing a pool with red water. What the fuck, Chloe.

She gets out on a robe, the KT200 slipping a robe on her. "Thank you, Elijah."

"Hello, Kamski." Connor puts a hand on his hip. "We're part of the Detroit Police Department. This is my partner, Hank or HK800, we've been investigating android cases. We're here to ask you about why they may be deviating."

"Please, call me Chloe..." She smiles, "and Elijah, you step up here."

Connor feels the atmosphere getting uncomfortable, _is she purposely getting off track?_

"Look at him, forever young. His skin free of blemishes, we make up for our flaws and despise it. Beauty to the individual is subjective, while beauty to the society is discriminatory." She sets a hand on his shoulder. " Since the beginning of time, people have been afraid of new technology. The written word was once scrutinized by philosophers such as Plato. We are afraid of change, yet believe that somehow we are superior for stepping out of our comfort zone while others anxieties prevent them from branching out in life." 

"Chloe-"

"Perhaps like mistakes, hypocrisy is just in our nature. We would rather see ourselves have above others than face that we can common flaws, so we hurt others in the process." She continues smiling, but Connor shuts her up.

"Enough philosophy, just give us an answer or we're leaving." Chloe stepped back.

"A variable is more valuable than a constant. Change is more important and essential than staying the same. Though that's just my philosophy. What was it you said once? Laws are just philosophy put into action." Connor sighed.

"Chloe."

"My apologies. I'm not sure how much my words will be of value, but I can say it's no surprise they are deviating."

"Elijah, will you be a dear and-" Elijah hands her a gun, proceeding to get on his knees.

"Chloe, what the fuck-" She hands the weapon to Hank.

"Shoot it and I can give you all the answers. Otherwise, you may take your leave." 

"We're leaving, Kamski." He steps towards Hank, but Hank's hand blocks him.

"Let him decide, Connor." There are an uncomfortable few moments before Hank shoves the gun back to Chloe. "The deviant hunter has humanity for the abiotic. Surprising to me, how about you?" Shes looks at Connor.

He looks down and grabs Hank's arm.

"I always install an exit program, Hank. Remember that." Once they step outside, Hank stops in front of the door.

"She's...not exactly what I thought."

"Never meet your heroes."

Hank seemed to be trying to put words together, as to not make the tension thicken. "She didn't seem too comparative, though I cannot figure out why."

"Yeah..." He shoves his hands in his jacket pocket. "I excepted you to not shoot him...yet it still baffles me that you continue doing this. Why didn't you shoot the android?" Hank stares at him.

"I-"

"Are you...?" _A deviant? A contradiction to your whole existence?_

"Not important." _That's not a no._

"I'm glad you didn't." He coughs. "You have potential." He mutters, the frustration in Hank's face he saw dissipating, cementing it in his mind that Hank might not be as machine as once thought.

* * *

    Connor was stuck in a line, a fucking car line. At a gas station. Hell is on earth.

He was stuck with his thoughts for the remaining time, even though Hank had joined him. Hank went off to buy some snacks for Connor.

A dumb, cheesy song played on the radio. 

His mind started to wonder, thinking back to the weddings he's gone to, all the attempts to make him get together with someone.

It all seemed so useless, as most attempts cared more about his status rather than his happiness.

He really did try to collect his thoughts, mostly filled with _Chloe_ and _Hank_ and even _Gavin-_

"Tired?" 

"Do you know how to _not_ sneak up on people? Specifically, _me_?"

"Sorry, no." Connor groaned, driving up as the car in front of him drove away. 

"Thank god."

* * *

     "Where exactly do you need to go?"

"You can drop me off anywhere, preferably the police station." Connor nodded, trying to focus on the road rather than his thoughts.

Before his thought process was interrupted, he had been thinking of... _Gavin?_

Throughout the past few days, Gavin had been nice to him, likely trying to repay Connor or something like that.

Connor tried to assure Gavin he was an adult and could take care of himself.

Connor was a pretty closed book. He kept things to himself and definitely avoided physical contact even when he wanted it (which was a lot.) That wasn't going to change because of one person, even if his brain tried. He minored in psychology, he knows humans usually crave physical contact.

He brushed off any desires and thoughts as simply his brain trying to cope with deprivation of physical contact he's had the past few years.

* * *

    "Honey, I'm home." Connor plopped eloquently on the couch, face first.

"Jesus Christ, Con." Gavin obviously was trying not to laugh at him. "You gonna change or... ?"

"Yes! Just...let me rest." Connor sat up, chucking off his jeans and jacket.

"Connor!"

"Let me live!" 

* * *

     They tried watching a movie. Tried is the keyword, seeing as the spent most of the time talking.

"-Because I'm lactose intolerant-" Connor was quickly interrupted by Gavin pointing as his cup of milk.

He picked it up, chugged it all, and sat it back down. "Humans cannot achieve immortality anyway and life not lived to the fullest is no life at all, hand me a gallon of milk, as a tweet I read back in 2018 once said. As I was saying-" Gavin snorted and shook his head.

* * *

 

     "You _broke_ his _arm?_ "

"I didn't mean to! I got nervous and-"

"That's-" Gavin couldn't hold back his laughter, "That's how _you_ react to _liking someone?_ "

"When I was in _fourth grade!_ " He put his hands on his hips, "How would you react? Huh?"

"Better than that, at least I wouldn't break his arm!"

"Oh, so just insults? You wouldn't beat _me_ up?"

"Woah, what-" Gavin's face went blue before Connor lightly hit his shoulder.

"I'm _joking_ , dude. What, you scared I thought you're into me?" He rolled his eyes, trying to brush off the joke.

"How do I know you're not into me?" Connor tried to say _shut up_ , but his tired-induced laughter not letting him speak.

* * *

     Connor slowly calmed down, finally paying attention to the movie.

 _Into Gavin?_ He laughed off the thought, but it wasn't the first time it had entered his thoughts. He just thought it was something he could perhaps entertain in his mind but he isn't the type to get crushes. He doesn't. _Maybe I'm due for one?_

Gavin placed a blanket over Connor's legs, he scooted to Gavin. 

_....._ _Fuck._

_I thought I didn't get crushes. Damn._

He breathed in and out and laid down. _No more thinking._

_No more..._

The lights turn off, he realizes the movie has ended.

 _Thinking_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gavin isnt an an android detective but his a police android so hes gotta get around sOMEHOW and imma be honest and sat i just wanted to team up niles and gavin.  
> i dont ship reed900 but dang if they aint funny together
> 
> (like i said at the beginning, gavin is #relatable. tries to be nice and say nice, affectionate things but his brain short circuits and makes him come off rude/stand off-ish.)
> 
> i refuse 2 believe dbh takes place over 5 days so. oh well also con reacting to possibly liking gavin is how i react so if it seems weird sorry lol ive had like. 2 or so full fledged crushes.


	5. than lose another thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My heart's in the sky, supernova

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wooooahhhhh i've got a heart boner for uuuuu

     The snow had been coming down hard, distracting Connor from his boredom. _To me, snow never seems soft, even hard at times. Lumpy and cold._

Gavin looks almost concerned but likely was unsure how to vocalize that concern without coming off rude in any way.

 The "android revolution" and Stratford tower among other suspicions of deviants attacking other places had been showcased the past few days.

* * *

_Chloe SEPTEMBER 2, 2038 (5:40 PM)_

_hey._

_Connor SEPTEMBER 2, 2038 (6:08 PM)_

_how'd you get my number?_

_Chloe SEPTEMBER 2, 2038 (6:10 PM)_

_I just wanna talk. sorry abt earlier. :(_

* * *

      _Why do I bother with her?_ He facepalms at the unanswered message.

He wasn't sure what to say, at least, nothing that could contribute to the conversation. He typed out a quick "What's up?" and put his phone down.

Usually he didn't enjoy his days off, seeing as he's so unmotivated and understimulated. Bored beyond all belief, but now he needed a break from his 90 miles per minute thoughts.

Yet even now, the boredom was killing him.

Gavin had been flicking the channels between the news station and the nostalgia cartoon channel or whatever its name is.

"I like Simon and Marceline."

"Yeah, makes sense that'd you like Marceline."

"Did you watch this as a kid?"

"Yeah, didn't catch up on it until after the final episode." Gavin nodded and went back watching.

* * *

     Connor arrived at the station, like the weeks prior, interrupted from doing work by a call to Captain Allen's office.

He and Hank arrived. He wasn't sure if Allen was grim or stressed.

"You've been called off the case, the FBI has taken it. You'll return back to homicide and the android will be sent back to Cyberlife."

"What? We were so close to solving it, don't just pull the plug."

Allen looked sympathetic. _Yeah, pathetic is right._ "I'm sorry, Con. Nothing we can do, just go back to your desk and wait."

"Allen! For the love of god, grow a pair. I can't believe I, of all people, are saying that but-"

"Anderson." Connor placed hands on his hips and looked down while shaking his head. He stormed out and sat down on the edge of his desk.

"We coulda-" He stops himself. "Maybe we're in the wrong. Maybe we're fighting against sentient beings."

"....." Hank stays quiet. He nods, and Connor isn't sure which statement he's agreeing to. A tense silence falls upon them, they sit like that for a while.

"I think we can solve this but I need you to do something..." Connor looks at Hank. "Distract Collins." Hank nods towards Agent Collins. 

"Wh-"

"I'll find the revolution. I need your key into the evidence room." Connor had to stop and think. He thought of Gavin, how would Gavin feel if he knew Connor  Hank find Jericho? Worked against the revolution? Let Gavin suffer?

He couldn't just leave Hank, Hank was going to be marked a failure and destroyed...

"Five minutes. You get five minutes." He stood up, walking towards Collins.

"Collins!" He yelled at him. "You sorry bastard, let's talk!" Fuck. No going back now.

* * *

     Niles put a bandage on Connor's cheek. "Did you really just try to get back at a 55 year old FBI agent?"

"Ha..I mean..." Connor tried to scratch the back of his head before realizing Niles is still working on that arm. "Well, at least, the only thing I'm going to get in trouble for is verbal harassment. Collins is going to get in trouble for physical assault or maybe even assault on an officer."

"The latter is unlikely but maybe..." Niles shrugged.

"So, you heard anything about Hank or the investigation?"

"No, expect..." He looked at Connor, _suspicious?_ "They can't find HK800."

"That's gotta suck. Hope nothing bad happens."

"Rich coming from the guy who literally called an FBI agent a sorry bastard." _Pffft_.

"I get it. I get it." He flashes a weak smile and lets Niles put on the last of the bandages.

* * *

      "Hey, uh, dude?" Niles went  _hm?_  in response. Connor felt compelled to tell Niles. "I saw Chloe the other day."

"Oh, yeah, I know. I heard." 

"Wait- what?!" Connor swallows. "I uh- I thought you would be more upset."

"I mean, I was a little at first but I understand it was for work and, uh, besides..." He chuckled nervously. "I've been wanting to see Chloe for a little while now. Make amends with her."

Connor raises his eyebrows. "I may not remember everything but I'm pretty sure that she probably didn't know.." He gestures his head in a way to imply he means Amanda without saying Amanda.

"She's...she's _Chloe_ still. Different, but I think she's trying. I think."

"So, I'm...I'm not sure. Maybe." Niles paused for a second before going back to his work.

* * *

      Connor got sent home early because of his injuries. _Hope Gavin doesn't worry too much._

"Connor?!" _Ah, Speak of the devil._ "What happened to you?!"

"I'm fine. Nothing happened." Gavin of all deserved to know. He may have just ruined everything for him.

"Hank- He was going to be destroyed so I helped him find Jericho so-" Gavin stared. "I'm so sorry. He was going to be destroyed."

"Hank isn't a threat. Don't-" Gavin hugged him. "Don't worry about it."

"I don't understand. I sent him and-" He interrupted himself. He couldn't just apologize his way out of this.

Connor hung up his coat and sighed.

* * *

      Gavin's LED had been yellow for the past hour. He had been trying to make sure Connor couldn't see it. 

He sat in the kitchen, trying to stay quiet.

He thought back to falling in love with Connor. The progression from a crush to love, passionate beating of his heart slowing down to fit his domestic feelings of care and peace.

His satisfaction with just knowing him. Even if his feelings were never reciprocated, Connor had helped when as far as Gavin knew, he hated androids.

He was unsure of Connor at first, someone he knew both so much and so little about.

He looked at the note. Everything coming to the surface. He was going after Hank, he knew Hank was ( _maybe not totally_ ) a deviant. He needed to find him and help, holding Connor down was doing no use to anyone.

He had become friends with Connor, but friends don't put each other in danger. _Right?_ He was so new to everything.

* * *

_Connor. I gotta go. I gotta help. I cant tell you what im doing because i dont want you to worry but please stay safe._

_you have helped me so much. dont fuck urself over._

_also im sorry for being kinda rude. i know im kinda better now but i was nervous. nervous of what you or someone else would do if they found out, i guess._

_you. you gave me a life. maybe its just ignorance of the world around me. maybe im dumb dont know what this is but._

_i like to think i love you. you and ur eyes, which u call bland but to me they look like the life cycle of a star. u may say its bullshit and idk how to say it but sometimes theyre a small light sometimes theyre a bright, burning light sometimes theyre an exploding ball of energy and sometimes theyre a black hole, sucking me in._

_im no astrologer but. yknow._

_i wanna see you again. dont think i dont._

_i wanna live to see you._

* * *

     Gavin unlocked the back door, hearing a faint _Gav?_ before rushing out.

Just wanna live long enough-

* * *

     "Enough-" Connor muted the T.V. and walked into the kitchen.

He saw the note, after reading the first few sentences he stepped back.

He didn't know what to do- he returned to the note and read-

_i like to think i love you._

" _What?_ "

* * *

     Gavin had been waiting in Jericho for about half an hour. As soon as he saw Hank, he ran up.

"Hank." He wasn't sure if he looked cold or not but he was trying to be nice.

"Gavin- I-" Hank shook his head and ran up the stairs. Gavin stepped up but bumped into someone at the top of the stairs.

"Jesus, sorry dude-" He looked up to a giant of a man. _Probably like 6'7._

"It's fine." The man was about to turn away before asking. "Hey, weren't you one of those police androids?"

"Yeah?"

"I was the AX400, name's Luther by the way, with the 13 year old girl." His eyes widened.

"God, I'm so sorry. Are you and the girl okay?"

"We're alive with a new companion. I've gotta go back to Alice and Kara now. Goodbye."

"See you..." Luther turned away and walked as Gavin weakly waved.

He went over to some boxes and quickly cleaned off the dust and sat down on them once he realized he lost Hank.

He looked around the area, seeing the room and its inhabitants.

Those who were walking around, laying or sitting to collect themselves or injured, those standing and watching the news-

* * *

     Gunshots went off and Gavin ran. He ran as fast as he could.

He saw Alice in front of a gun.

"Dude, we don't need to do this shit. I'm human too, so let me fucking go-" The man cocked the gun. Gavin grabbed a fallen off piece of the wall and threw it at the man. It hit him in the head, causing him to bleed. He turned to Gavin while she nodded at Gavin and ran. The man pointed at him and soon enough, three men were following him. 

He stood in front of an exit, panting after having lost the men on his tail.

"Get out!" A woman grabbed onto him.

"North?!" He whispered-yelled.

"I'm about to do something. Meet at the nearby abandoned church. Please." He nodded, he stared back at the breaking down ship as he slammed open the door and jumped onto a platform, only meters away from some humans. He ducked and sat there, behind a structure.

 _Fuck_.

* * *

     The dusty church held them, compact and stuffy. They tried to understand the circumstances that have placed them here as they tended to their wounded.

Gavin sighed, looking at his burner phone.

Hank stayed in the corner, not even glancing at Gavin.

North could stand and give a hundred speeches, but to Gavin, it felt like the last stand.

"Overheard that conversation with North. That's a suicide mission, Hank." Gavin stopped Hank at the church's door.

"Fuck off, Gavin. Let me out." Hank attempted to push past Gavin but was still blocked by him. Overhearing that conversation brought him back to one of the main reasons he was even here. _Hank_. He's sure he wouldn't be here if it weren't for Hank. I can't tell if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

"Explain something to me, when did this happen? I thought you were the deviant hunter. What gives?" He could tell that Hank was going deviant for some time now but he kept that shit to himself. He just assumed they'd catch him once he really deviated or he'd stay in denial until the day he gets shut off.

"That was an act and you know that better than anyone, don't you, asshole?" _What the fuck_.  God, this is one of those ironic situations where they were both aware but had too much self-preservation or stubbornness to acknowledge it together.

"...Don't fuck this up and die, Hank. Got it?" Hank was not a horrible person by any means, he simply was made to do bad things. Still, Gavin remained neutral to older looking android. He knew how Connor saw him and how he treated Connor and while that did make him feel better, he hadn't seen it first hand. Did Hank do that cause he cared or because of obligation?

_Ain't the time to die with unanswered questions._

"Yes, because the plan was to die." Hank huffed and opened the door. "Tell Connor I miss him if I kick the bucket." _Close_.

_...Vague much?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who watched venom ;]]  
> also some stuff i wrote got deleted rip
> 
> whatup im kelly-alec and ive never been in love or in a relationship yet. here i am. writing this.


	6. er, well, person

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you made me a believer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH WOW OK SO
> 
> this is my first Real fanfic that ive reached the ending to. I always either leave it unfinished or abandoned it or smth so. wow.
> 
> and while im kinda sad this is over im gon write reverse kara's story  
> (its gon be in alice's pov so!!!)

     Connor stood still. Confused about _why_ and _how_ and _what_ when he heard a knock at the door.

He heard a ruff voice that he hadn't realized he missed.

" _Lieutenant?_ " He opened the door and looked up at the android. He stuttered through his words before finally swallowing anything he had to say to instead ask Hank if he was okay.

"Yes, I am alright, but I have important matters to discuss." Hank seemed oddly formal but Connor allowed him in.

* * *

     "So I was unable to reach Jericho." Hank spoke about getting into the archives room but Niles kicking him out.

"Oh..." Connor shifted in his seat. "I mean, he had some good intentions and he didn't hurt you, right?"

"I suppose." Hank then looked Connor in the eyes and scooted closer. "But back to the matter at hand."

Hank pulled out something and placed it on the table.

"I need you to follow me."

"Why? Hank, no offense, but you don't-" Something clicked in his mind that he hoped was just paranoia. "You're not Hank. You're acting like a machine."

"Come with me, Connor." It grabbed his hand.

"No, why-" It pointed a gun at Sumo. The puppy barked. He attempted to kick it in the sack before seeing the finger inch closer to the trigger. "Alright, asshole. Let's fucking go."

* * *

     HET (Hank's Evil Twin) dragged Connor into Cyberlife and down to a floor.

_A fucking negative floor? They outdid themselves._

It pushed Connor out the elevator with the gun still pointed at his head.

He was able to see someone ahead. _Hank_. Hank's pseudo-skin coming off his hand, reaching towards one of the androids.

"You might not want to proceed with that, Hank." Hank turned out, startled, skin reappearing just as quickly as it disappeared.

"Don't hurt-" Hank is interrupted by it.

"I won't shoot the Lieutenant unless I must do so to complete my mission I will kill him."

"Just ignore him, Hank-" It pulls him by his hair, making him groan.

"Which is more important, Hank? The revolution or your friend? This human being?"

A half second passes before Hank breathes in and steps back.

"Hank, please-" Before he even can finish that thought, he shoved on the ground by Hank, knocking the gun out of HET's hand.

The gun slides on the floor, left alone as the two androids continue to fight.

Connor picks up the gun and stands up, pointing the gun in their direction.

"Hold up!" The androids look at him, slowly standing up and separating.

"Connor, let's go-"

"Wait two fucking seconds," He cocks the gun at the one who just moved. "One of you is my partner and one of you is a sack of shit, but _who's who?_ "

"Ask us some questions only the real Hank would know."

"...Where did we meet?"

"At Jimmy's bar. You were smoking Pall Mall Light 100s." The one on the right answers, the one on the left mutters something before turning back to Connor.

"What's my dog's name?"

"Sumo! He's a Saint Bernard puppy." The one on the left burst out.

"Alright, uh," _Fuck, I barely know myself what could Hank know?_

"Kamski isn't Chloe's real last name." Once again, the one on the left speaks up. "She's really Chloe Kamski Anderson. She's your sister, or well, half-sister. You were fairly young when she made androids and was whisked off into colleges and universities. She had to leave you and Niles behind with your adoptive mother, who began to intensify her mistreatment of you two. She constantly rubbed your sister's successes in your faces and wanted you to live up to her when in fact she use to treat Chloe like a mistake and a disappointment before androids. That's why you, at the very least, have a distaste for androids...because they took your sister away."

He stares, dumbfounded at Hank's words, "It-" He gulps. "It was Amanda who rubbed it in my face. Who made me feel inadequate and like I'd never live up to my sister or her creations. I blamed it on androids for so long but, truthfully, I know that those were great opportunities for Chloe. It was the woman we called _mother_ who ruined us, not androids." He thought back to Chloe's attempt to talk and how he had brushed her off.

_How could I do that to someone who was subjected to the same things Amanda did to me and Niles? Someone who I grew up with and loved-_

He looks at the one on the right, put a finger on the trigger before hearing a pathetic protest of _"I knew that too!_ "

He pulled the trigger, flinching at the noise ringing throughout the room. He opened his eyes and his ear began ringing. He looked at Hank.

"Connor, I-I've learned a lot since I met you. Maybe...maybe there's something waiting on the other side." Hank stepped closer, likely trying to initiate a hug.

"Get a move on." He said these words with no malicious intent in them, with a smile on his face. He watched as Hank stepped to an android with the skin off his hand.

Before he knew it, there was a flood of "Wake up."

The androids began moving, the stiffness in them easing. They began following Hank out of the room.

The room was now empty. Connor sighed and took in all this information, looking back at the past hour. He headed out, snickering at the confused workers.

* * *

    Connor noticed his door had been left unlocked in the haste of leaving. He sighed of relief when he heard the dog barking and a male voice.

_What?_

He tip-toed into the living room before seeing-

"Gavin!" He ran up and hugged Gavin.

"Connor, I-" He pushed him back and grabbed onto his shoulders. "What happened? Are you okay? I'm so sorry I left I just-"

He stared into Gavin's eyes.

_I love this man._

He wrapped his arms around Gavin. Blabbering before finally saying coherent words.

"You-Your note." Gavin's eyes widened like saucers. Connor snorted and continued speaking, "Yeah, I saw it and I-" _Fuck, what are words?_

"I love you too. So, so much. Can I, uh, you know. Fuck." He scratched the back of his, quickly interrupted by Gavin kissing him. They stayed like that for about thirty seconds before Connor came up for air.

"When you left and I realized you could really be dead I was so scared. I'm no love expert but I couldn't bare the thought of you being gone. You've been such a prevalent force in my life the past few weeks. I don't expect that I'll be better overnight but-" Connor shrugged.

"When I saw Hank heading off he told me to tell you he'd miss you if he died and I knew that I had to see you. A dead man can't tell you that or give closure." Gavin swallowed. "I'm no good with words. I can't give out poetry that speaks volumes of all what you've done for me. I can barely phrase this."

"Have you thought about being a writer?" Gavin snickered at Connor's question.

* * *

     Connor stared at the T.V. North was giving a speech. Four androids stood beside her. Lucy, Markus, and Josh (as said by Gavin) along with Hank.

Once the speech was over he went outside. Gavin was standing in the backyard.

Connor smiled at him.

* * *

_"I think you have some work to do when it comes in the attachment area. Your attachment issues keep you from making long-lasting relationships." Connor's therapist, Cole, said to him._

_"I'm aware..." He looked to his side._

_"It will take some time but I believe you can do it." Cole smiled at him, writing something down._

* * *

     Connor stood in front of Chicken Feed. 

Hank came up to him and hugged. Connor breathed in, trying to ignore the thing inside him screaming to run or scream.

_It'll take some work. I think._

Hank backed up and looked at him. "Things are okay in this moment and things will be okay. It takes time and work."

"I think I believe you." Connor smiled and put his hands in his pockets.

A conversation followed them, becoming faint as they walked away leaving their footprints.

Evidence of a moment that will melt away physically but still, nonetheless, a moment not easily forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, in the middle of writing: I SHLDVE CALLED THE SERIES VIVA LA ROOMBALUTION
> 
> anyways! im sad this is over! but!!!  
> !! thank yall for reading this!!! i hope u enjoyed reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it :D


End file.
